the martini menu

Magical, mind-altering lubricants for social intercourse.

Can I even begin to tell you the reaction this statement got from me? Giggles galore. I was in a really nice Italian restaurant in Key West. And I wanted a drink- they specialized in martinis, so the waiter was telling us, and they also had a fine selection of wines....oh, what is a girl suppose to choose with such excellent choices available?

And then I read this statement: magical, mind-altering lubricants for social intercourse.

I chose wine.
I don't need any help or incentive to stimulate my social intercourse.
I hit those climaxes almost every time- no lubes needed.

inspired by lake water

Oh, the things that girls will say at the lake:

Be careful- wet when slippery.

Because my legs go up in the air so much.

Hung in there like rocks stars!

That mojito feels good!

Shape it up - whip it, whip it good!

Tho' the Jennifers may be going down- we aren't going down without a fight!

The Jennifers are awesome!

You landed like a rockstar!

Here I come- stay away!

You need to let it out a little bit.

Keep the rope between your legs!

Keep your butt up, so it won't be raw.

******************************************
I don't know about you, but I am giggling. Well, maybe you just had to be there.
Maybe next time, eh?

unedited love letter twenty-seven

Where are you?
What are you up to?

You've come to mind in the last couple of weeks several times; and I've shared fun stories of our time together with others. And it is interesting, because it's been a while- since I've thought of you, and how you made me feel; and how we wanted each other.

To completely acknowledge how we were both in need of that "rebound" relationship, and found it with each other- no worries, no strings attached, and in spite of the friendship that grew between us.

Thank you for introducing me to your very distinctive perspective on life, love, sex. For bringing me into your world with reckless abandon- for sharing your love of "raw meat and fresh ice cream."

Oh, yes, you liked your meat raw and your ice cream fresh- I've never forgotten that.

You compared my virginity to a field of wildflowers- so fresh and raw; dynamic in its beauty and variety, but simple in its display. And somehow, I've never forgotten that either. I know that you wanted to be "the one," but I wasn't willing to go there with you; and you didn't give up. Goodness, you tried; being all sexy and forward, and confident with your ability to seduce a woman with your open confidence and experienced hand. But I am glad that we stopped there- well, almost there.

I am proud that I wasn't one of your wild oats- I was more of a...wildflower. We weren't really sure what to do with each other, because we weren't playing by the typical rules that we had been accustomed to, but for those few months- it didn't matter.

I'm glad to have known you- to have been your friend, part-lover-
I hope you are well.
Know that you are missed and remembered fondly.
I hope those wild oats didn't come back to haunt you-

maybe we should tell each other more often

I had a friend tell me that he was proud of me-

(Keep in mind, this is someone I really respect. I am impressed with his overall decisions and his impact in his sphere of others. I guess you could say that I look up to him- maybe, I acknowledge him as a mutual force for good in the world? Not sure, what the right details are, but just so you know, it isn't "just anyone" saying that they are proud of me.)

Anyway, I was stunned- in a good way. It isn't every day that someone says that they are proud of you. And maybe that is something that should change...
How does it make you feel when someone says, "I am proud of you!" It makes me feel good; other emotions that flood my being: pleased embarrassment, desire to continue the behavior, sense of accomplishment, determination, validation.

These are emotions that everyone should experience- the more consistent the better. Not so we get numb to the impact of those emotions, but so that we feel the constant reminder of our validation for our impacts in this world.

A couple of things that come to mind:

1. Each one of us should behave in ways that would make the people we respect proud. Whether we hear those words or not (I'm proud of you), let's aspire to achieve those opinions.

2. If you've got a friend who you love and respect; and you see and understand and feel their impact in the world- tell them that you are proud of them! Sure, it may feel a little awkward coming out of your mouth- usually those words are reserved for elders passing that along to the youngers...but it is time we give each other a little credit for the good we are trying to get done.

Just my opinion.
I am glad that someone- a peer- is proud of me.
It makes me feel good!
And I am jazzed to know that I am noticed; and I am gonna keep truckin' along.

NC Coast

Why don't I do this more often- the beach is only 3 hours away. Really, not that long to drive for several hours worth of fun- sure it is messy fun (sand gets EVERYWHERE); but what is fun without a mess to go along with it.

Rand and I drove to Wrightsville today on our way to J'ville. It isn't really on the way, but we wanted to go to the beach this afternoon; and the drive back north isn't too bad- only an hour.

It was a perfect day to be at the beach. Sunny- warm, but not hot; and nice and breezy. The water was warm and clear. The waves were playful. The sand was smooth and warm (again, not too hot). Rand was jazzed to be there- and to tell you the truth, so was I. I love the beach; and even though I've allowed some mountain thoughts to creep in (the whole tubing thing has got my head turned), I think I will always be a beach-girl at heart.

And I wondered, why don't I do this more often? The beach (just like a good mountain creek) is worth a long-haul day trip more often than once a year. Think you might want to come along sometime?

Where have I been today?

Started the day in Winston-Salem (brownies for breakfast with good friends); spent a an hour or so in Mebane (check in at the homestead and whisk away the child); played on Wrightsville Beach for a couple of hours with the little man; and spending the night in J'ville with the in-laws. It's been a great day!

I've spent a lot of time in the car behind the wheel- and I'm worn out, but really okay. I think as long as I have great music to keep me company, I can just go!

keep on dreaming

He keeps telling me, "Keep dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

And I just want to know- as I continue to dream and hope and wish for the best; and when my heart breaks over and over again because of failure or rejection or exhaustion- will he be the one to hold me and comfort me as well. Will he take the time to tell me, "It's going to be okay; and you will have the strength to continue the dreaming!"

Just wondering.

Even If It Breaks Your Heart- Will Hoge

tubing

Took Rand tubing for the first time today. I was nervous about the way he was going to react- there are so many things to accost the senses. Just think of the exhausting list:
1. the temperature of the water
2. the sound of the water
3. the floating feeling in the tube
4. the balance issues on staying afloat over a rocky surface
5. the bugs, mud
6. the walking
You get the idea. There are plenty of things that could upset Rand's whole balance of being. And I was trying to be prepared- you can never fully be prepared, but I surely do try.

The one think I knew I has going for me- the water. My kid loves the water! Any kind of water. And he loves to splash. So, I figured that since you can't tube without a whole lot of water, I would be in the clear...maybe? In spite of all the other sensory issues that may occur.

And I was right~ thank goodness! Not only that- but (as if we needed it) there is even more evidence to suggest that Rand is indeed my son- what a dare devil! We had a blast! All the way until the end- when we had all HAD ENOUGH (but doesn't that happen to all families on a day trip?).

One of the things that I didn't anticipate- my mind just didn't get there- Rand is all about picking up rocks and throwing them into the creek. I mean...obsessive about it. Rocks of any size are candidates for launch. He especially tried to pick up the ones that were impossible for anyone, never m ind a four year old. And so, much of our tubing trip was spent picking up rocks and throwing them into the creek.

Well, family time is family time.
: )

it will never be the same

I recently purchased a mifi device from Verizon. This small black box goes with you wherever you might choose to go and provides you with a wifi signal for up to 5 devices. So, you don't even have to plug anything in- just press the "on" button. Now, of course, this amazing convenience comes with a price...and a limit; but just think about how cool this is-

I was in the passenger seat of my car- we were on I40 around mile marker 70- going through the mountains; and there were several things that I wanted to check online. I busted out the mifi device and switched it on. I started buying songs through my iTouch and worked on my computer for about 20 mins; and then I was done, and everything got turned off.

That kind of ability to connect on a whim; and disconnect back into obscurity is a wonderful thing.
(Oh, wait: I do have the BlackBerry; but YOU know what I mean ; )